Some years ago, I attended a conference featuring a medical doctor who was also committed to yoga. Someone in the audience asked her if she believed we have free will. She answered, “I believe we have free will, but I think it is pretty limited. So my recommendation to you is to use it wisely. The way to use it best is in choosing the people you are going to live with and associate with. They will determine how you will live your life.” She went on to encourage people to look at the community we live in. If we are interested in living a life oriented to a humane/sustainable culture, where first criteria in all decisions is the Earth and its people, she would say that the people around us need to have the same orientation in their lives. We need that type of support. This is especially true since developing a humane/sustainable culture is not the norm in our society.
We have spent time over the last years working on changing our own lifestyles, setting up relationships with people who understand what we are trying to do, and doing workshops and consultation with people in the Cincinnati area and beyond. It has only been the last year that we have seriously looked at our immediate neighborhood as a support system.
It is hard to live the way I do sometimes; working out of my home without pay, eating somewhat differently, gardening differently, heating our homes differently, having workshops at our home. Though we have had friends around that supported us, none of them lived “next door”. Over the last year, several people with similar values have moved into our neighborhood. Their presence has been supportive.
1. Sharing. Several people have joined us in sharing meals together. I am not a bad cook, but have never been an enthusiastic one. For dinner I only need to engage my culinary talents once per week, knowing that others will be doing it the other evenings. Sharing vehicles, gardening equipment and know how, tools, sharing lawn mowers, caring for each others animals and plants while out of town, sharing our knowledge and skills; these are some of the simple things that have made life a little easier for us, and has helped in lessening demands on our Earth’s resources.
2. How nice it has been to have people to turn to in times of crisis, in times of just feeling alone, isolated. In our own household, when one of us is feeling “out of sorts” there is someone near that the other person can turn to when they need support. When we need help I feel comfortable asking because I know I will be asked in turn. We have our differences, our disagreements, but so far we have worked them out and it has been a good experience.
3. Spirituality. It has made it much easier to take the time to encounter, to come in touch with the Earth, with God within all things. We have slowly begun supporting each other in this way; meeting every other Sunday for a celebration, meditating together twice each week, jointly doing workshops on spirituality and sharing in conversations around spirituality at meals and other times.
4. When I’m feeling down, angry, upset, I know that someone will be around to listen. The extended family used to meet many of these needs. Mobility is cruel; my 84-year-old mother living alone, the closest of ten children three and a half hours away. We can call and visit, but it is not the same as being “next door”. The result of mobility has been, for many; insecurity, loneliness, isolation – with people attempting to build some of this support into their lives with people they meet. The intentional community is one attempt at dealing with this issue straight on.
All of this has provided a greater sense of security in knowing that others are near who care. We have the knowledge, skill, and resources that help us to collectively provide for many of our everyday and sometimes crisis situations that we individually or in our families could not meet. Transportation has been one very helpful area, help when the car breaks down and we need to be somewhere in five minutes, to be out of town and having forgotten about the goldfish. There is a feeling of security knowing someone near will gladly be available when a crisis large or small arises.
But a few questions are still unanswered.
Can we develop this type of relationship in our existing neighborhoods? People moving here to be involved and supportive has been a real blessing. Can we also include the people who are already around us? Are they ready; are we ready? And the “old timers” in the neighborhood, do we need them to give roots to a new story, and how do we include them?
And can we include the Earth as part of our community, especially the part we live on, depend on daily? Can we see it as friend – to relate to, to love, to depend on and not to abuse, manipulate and destroy?
rjamesschenk.org 